Snuh?

It's official--Worcester's seasonal snowfall has crept above the one-inch barrier that had schoolchildren the city over wondering if they would have a snow day this winter. But wait, kids--don't dust off that toboggan just yet, the total snowfall for this winter is still at a measly two and a half inches. That's right, while last year at this time there was almost three feet of that white stuff, today, a gloomy, late-January day can't even bring enough snow to cover the grass of the beautifully kept lawns at Clark University.

Where is all the snow? Even on an "average" year (my meteorologist advises me not to use the word "normal") the snow accumulation for the season to date would be close to two and a half feet--not two and a half inches. I admit that I have lost a little sleep over it, being just a big kid at heart and longing to play in the snow with my children. And Christmas just wasn't the same without the blanket of white covering the apartments at out Mountain Village home. But it wasn't until just yesterday that I fully started to realize the scope of the situation and the true cause behind the unusually warm winter weather that we have experienced here in New England. Ah, your neck and shoulders just tensed up--you're bracing yourself for more of that inane drivel about El Niño or the jet stream or global warming. (Al Gore wanted me to put that last one in--he's sponsoring today's posting.) Relax! Don't worry! It's not nearly that bad...

Because it's really a conspiracy!

Yeah, there's no scientific explanation for the wacky winter weather. "They" are altering the weather to subvert your confidence in the weathermen on those decidedly liberal-backed news channels. You know, "them." In the latest move of bipartisan one-upmanship, the Republicans have changed the weather patterns over the majority of the United States in order to get potential Democratic defectors to distrust the left-leaning media that has slammed their party for the last, hmm, forever. Once again, "politics" in Washington has reared its defiant head and is wreaking havoc on the vacation plans of Americans throughout the nation.

Work with me here. It makes sense--really! It all started to click yesterday when I was talking with some friends. One of them, Greg, held firmly to the belief that National Football League games are fixed--even choreographed. It's all just a show, and no one is "on to it." Hmm. That got me thinking of what another friend of mine--also a Greg, oddly enough--had said about NAFTA and all the evil designs that it is planning to bring to fruition. What's more unbelievable is that these schemes are carried out by NAFTA in league with officials high up in the United States government and unbeknownst to Americans en masse.

Where is this going, you ask? You are still wondering how this all ties in to the lack of snow here in New England. Bear with me, this took me some effort to work my brain around the facts, so I know how you feel. Apparently, and this applies to more than just my two Gregs, in order to form a valid theory, all you have to do is throw out an explanation that could be possible, regardless of how improbable that theory may be. Hence, the Patriots and Colts are not of the same athletic caliber, so the games leading to that match up must have been rigged to favor a subsequent playoff between those two teams. If those games were rigged, deceit on the field must be rampant through the entire league. NAFTA has the potential to precipitate some environmental and labor problems in the United States, ergo it must be an evil scheme, will only benefit a privileged few, and most of the activities done in the name of free trade are done out of view of the general public for fear of reprisal.

Following this same kind of "logic," it's only natural that, to explain the warmer New England temperatures thus far, one has only to come up with a "theory" that is feasible, but not necessarily based on fact. And now it's just a short leap of logic to my "theory" about the previously unexplained warm weather trend. Just another thing to blame on Bush and his troop of red-staters. Thanks to the current administration and the GOP, my children have had practically no playing in snow up to this point.

Practically...

Here is a picture of Trevor playing in what little snow we had the other day. "I digging to do! I digging to do!" He got pretty excited.



And, to follow up on a previous post, Natalie did pretty well in her first basketball game. This is a picture of her tracking the ball. Look at how she is practically dwarfed by Michaela.

Randomness Alert

My wife read my first blog entry last night as I was dressing for our much anticipated dinner date.

"You are so random."

"Well, I said that you probably wouldn't find it interesting."

"If no one finds it interesting, then why are you doing it?"

"I didn't say that no one would find it interesting."

"Who, then?"

"Well... me, I guess."

"Oh."

DISCLAIMER: If you are looking for anything interesting, or even comprehensible, you are looking in the wrong place. Anything posted here is not meant to be intelligible to anyone other than the poster of the blog. Any lucidness contained in this blog is completely coincidental. Proceed at you own risk.

So...

It's been unseasonably warm this winter in the greater Boston area. As I sit at my computer this morning and type this update, songbirds are singing outside my window. My children have not seen the snow thick enough to cover the grass, which, by the way, is still a healthy green color, and reminds me of lawns during the wet California winters of my youth. Officially, the winter has set record high temperatures, and has TV weathermen scratching their collective heads and scrambling for viable explanations as to why I have yet to shovel my walk this winter. No, really--they care.

My favorite explanation for this crazy is "El Niño." As if there's some big kid out in the middle of the Pacific making waves and affecting weather all over the western hemisphere. He must be some gordo niño. Jet stream, global warming--like any of those actually exist.... I think I'll have to come up with my own explanation. I had better do it quick, because we are expected to get an ice storm and possibly snow this weekend, and a possible return to "normal" winter weather. Really, I think the moral is this: people don't want nice--they want consistency.

I have to mention that, while I sit here typing, Tamara is downstairs fixing breakfast--a task usually left to Daddy on Fatterday mornings. At first I wondered that she should be down there slaving away on a weekend morning, when she usually tries to relax a little bit, while she can. I think that she fells a little pressed for time. We've got a lot on our plate before the kids' basketball game at noon.

Which reminds me that I need to mention that we now have three children participating in the youth hoops basketball league at Clark Street Elementary. As the assistant coach for my kids' team, I am a little anxious to see how Natalie does in her first game today. As a dad, I can hardly wait to see how much fun they have, despite Natalie only having dribbled a basketball for the first time this past Tuesday during practice. I love this picture of Anthony during his first game. His posture is so expressive of his bewilderment.

Blog on, dude!

Yep--as if I don't have enough to do as I try to make a final push to get out of grad school. That's exactly what Tamara said, so you're in good company, friend. Why blog, then? Here's where we turn into Choose Your Own Adventure:
If you think that I'm doing it because "everyone else" is, you might be partially right, please turn to page 45.
You think that I just want more attention than I am getting--again, possible, if not altogether accurate. Go to page 60.
If you think I like hearing myself spout off, you are probably more insightful than those who have already turned the page, if still a little off base. Go to page 22.5.
If you think I'm trying to impress chicks, don't even turn the page. Close the browser window. Go read your high school yearbook and reminisce about all those cheerleaders that were in love with you. It'll be a short trip down memory lane, I'm sure.
If you're thinking that I've been consistently frustrated in my attempts to find the proper venue for my non-PC "propaganda" (we're talking politics here, folks, not Windows), then you win the gold star for today. Please continue reading below.
I might as well get this cleared up right now. I just realized that I inadvertently chose blue for the color of Massachusetts in the title of my blog. (I made it myself, chicks.) I am not endorsing the Democratic Party. I am not endorsing the Republican Party. I hope that both parties will somehow magically vaporize into a light purple haze that will be visible on fine days over Capitol Hill, and we can sit together somewhere on the National Mall and remember bygone days when politicians spent more time worrying about what the other party was doing than working to improve this great nation and the lives of its citizens. Ah, wouldn't that be nice.

For those of you who are more politically aware--NO, this blog is not about being suppressed by the evils of communism. For those of you less perceptive souls, "red-staters" as Glenn Beck would probably say--this blog is not about country music east of the Mississippi. I just needed a good title. Unfortunately, I couldn't find anything to tie in with something more in line with personal interests of mine. The Tolkeinesque "the Balrog Weblog" had promise, though, and the Schultzy "Bloghead" seemed fun, but a bit presumptuous for my first foray into the realm of blogging.

Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought.... Uh, well, uh, OK. Anyway I, I know it's kinda a roundabout way of saying it, but I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is:

I HATE SAUERKRAUT!

Scratch that, and apologies to Weird Al. What I'm really trying to say is this:

All systems go. We have blog.

Stay tuned.